Too fat to work out in public?

I have heard this line several times in the last few weeks. I just saw a post on an athletics page where a girl was looking for at home workout because she feels to fat to go to the gym. Too fat to go to the gym? That's like saying you sin too much to go to church or you are to thirsty to drink water.  The problem is the poster felt people would look at her and think, "Ha, ha! fatty fat fatterson is here to break the equipment and leave butt sweat stains!" So what! Maybe Mr Buff does snicker at your awkward attempts at jumping jacks or maybe Mrs Legs sets her warm up speed to your sprint. Who gives a rats patooney!?? You look sillier in your self deprecation than you would ever look in a gym.

I go to runs and am surrounded by mamma bombshells. Most all of them are pageant worthy, thin, and lovely. Standing next to them I am Plain Jane, but I would rather be looking like dumbo having a seizure in spandex than sit on the couch another moment. I proudly show up to runs in my xl yoga pants and dare people to shout piggie at me. (I'll oink as I chase them down, mwahahaha!) I would rather look silly than miss the chance to get stronger. Too fat to work out in public? Oh, poster...if you are that out of shape you are probably too fat to NOT work out in public. It ain't about size, looks, image. It is about getting stronger with every awkward step. I want to find poster and giver a hug and tell her God doesn't make mistakes he makes works in progress. We were knit in our mother's womb on purpose and every size is lovely and lovable. Working out is only about health and treating your body like a temple. Praise who you are because you are worthy. Too fat to work out in public? No, poster. You are just right.

Moving forward

I have always been fat. Oh, don't cringe at the word. I won't be politically correct and try to call it pleasantly plump or big boned beauty. I am medically overweight and I have been medically obese. I had stretch marks before I hit my teens. I was 200 lbs and 4'9 in middle school. I was fat. I remember being 11ish and overhearing family talk about my weight. I didn't see it as a big deal until I a boy I really liked in 8th grade pointed out my size. So between 8th grade and 9th I went from 200lbs to 150. It wasn't pretty. As soon as my mom went to sleep I would do a thousand crunches and what went in had to come out. I knocked off the bulimic phase shortly after ninth grade but I still avoided food as best I could. My weight bounced around from120 to 150 until I graduated and left for bootcamp. The Navy was even worse for my self esteem and after having two babies I felt like I would never win the battle. Nick put his foot down to my insane weight-loss ventures and he demanded that I learn to love my size. I did. I began to really love me, curves and all. Then my horrendous eating habits did more damage than to my waste line. I lost my gal-bladder a year ago and I knew I needed to fight the battle again but this time I needed to treat my body like a temple. Thus the journey began. It evolved like this: Insanity, 5k, hiphopabs, 10k, and now training for a half. 

I am gonna try this blog idea out. Mainly because I want people to know exactly how hard it is for me to lace up my shoes and head out the door. I want them to know that I have sprouted off every excuse, hit ever plateau, and fail epically almost daily. I am always the last to cross the finish line. I am always the one most drenched in sweat. I am always the one gasping for air and feeling every part of my body burn. I am the most physically awkward athlete God ever made but I won't let it stop me from being healthy and being strong. A friend messages me this week and said, "You inspire me." All I could think was, "why? I am such a failure."  How does a failure inspire others to get fit? Sure I have lost a good deal of weight this year but I missed by goal by ten lbs. sure I am long running but at a 14 min pace. I felt so overwhelmed to think that God would use my down right worst qualities to inspire the people I love to improve their health. So, I'm gonna try this blog thing out. Hopefully God keeps letting me inspire. Hopefully God helps me run my next 5k under 40 minutes. Hopefully God doesn't strike me with lightning for saying that. :) 1  ago I was 210. Today I am 172. Always moving forward...who cares how slow?